Sunday, April 26, 2020

Please someone save us from Trump before he kills us all


In her op-ed the other day, the Washington Post’s Jennifer Rubin asks the question everyone with something between their ears wants to know: Is Donald Trump a “stable genius” as he claims, or is he in reality the “dangerous ignoramus” other people suggest? It is clear that since Trump prefers the advice of such widely respected medical experts as Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham, he feels it is needless for him to be unduly burdened by fake medical experts who make the COVID-19 situation sound worse than it actually is. The New York Times  thus reports that ”Mr. Trump rarely attends the task force meetings that precede (his) briefings, and he typically does not prepare before he steps in front of the cameras. He is often seeing the final version of the day’s main talking points that aides have prepared for him for the first time although aides said he makes tweaks with a Sharpie just before he reads them live.”

Trump has been spending the past few weeks touting his stable genius in managing to keep the number of people infected from the COVID-19 from going from 60,000 on March 25, to only just under one million as of April 25; the number of dead has gone up only 54,000 in a month. Miracle cures touted by Trump have had a remarkable effect on the way people view the breadth of his stable genius, kind of like promoting radium water as an elixir for every variety of malady; according to the Associated Press: “A malaria drug widely touted by President Donald Trump for treating the new coronavirus showed no benefit in a large analysis of its use in U.S. veterans hospitals. There were more deaths among those given hydroxychloroquine versus standard care, researchers reported.” The dead in those Trump-inspired experiments were “GREAT” American patriots giving their lives for the United States of Trump, although to be frank Trump didn’t honor them in that way; in fact he didn’t honor them at all—they were probably just old folks like Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, who has yet to volunteer to die as he told us he would.  

A truly stable genius like Trump has no need to read, study or even correctly enunciate multi-syllable words or even know their meaning. After hearing that common household chemicals like bleach and rubbing alcohol can be used to kill the virus when applied to surfaces, Trump hit upon the novel idea that such chemicals can also kill the virus inside people’s bodies as well. Who would have thunk it save a “stable genius”? According to Vanity Fair: “Lysol Manufacturer Warns Trump Is a Dangerous Moron,” and "'Under No Circumstance’ Should Disinfectant Be Injected in Body.” But then again perhaps Trump has already tried it (stable genius he is), since some parts of his anatomy (like his brain and heart) seem to have been effected by some form of internal failure for quite a long time. 

So far, 26,000,000 workers are newly unemployed, but not to worry; Trump still has a job, and so does Mike Pence and those chips off the old blockhead, Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump, so we know that everything is under control.  Meanwhile I admit that this lockdown business might be viewed as an unexpected vacation in the short term, but now things are starting to get pretty dull and boring (what “sunlight” in Washington?). More to the point, this isn’t living, it’s like slow death. But then again, Trump has been slowly killing this country internally and externally since the day he took office. And while foreign capitals may be laughing at the village idiot in the White House in private, somehow the “jokes” Trump has been pulling on this country haven’t been all that funny for some time now for the people who actually have to live here--especially when some of them die because of it.

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