The “lady” vanishes: Good riddance to bad rubbish

The mainstream media never misses an opportunity to characterize women as “victims” or “superior” to men, usually based on opinion rather than evidentiary foundation and contrary to empirical support. Oh well. Usually this has more to do with personal egotism and an effort to downsize accomplishments not their own.  Newsweek recently had a cover story demonstrating this propensity entitled “The Lady Vanishes,” the premise of which is that because of the one-child policy in China, and the assumed preference for male children over females, there is a slightly lower number of female births, meaning that the “preference” is only just that. In any case, there is a slight surplus of marriage-age men that, according to the story, actually gives women power over men in China. The alleged Chinese “lady” has reverted back to the stereotypical “Dragon Lady,” going from “unwanted” to suddenly “in charge.” Chinese women won’t marry a man who doesn’t own a house or have a large bank account, and the divorce rate is increasing, although still rather considerably lower than in the West. 

I mean, like, so what else is new? Frankly, societal change today often has less to do with advancing morality and ethics than being in direct opposition to them, because they are viewed as maintaining the “patriarchy” rather than directing personal responsibility. “Temporary” marriage arrangements (usually in the minds of women) as an economic consideration or based on lust rather than love, deliberate single-parenthood and certain kinds of “permanent” domestic arrangements are examples of this.  What is “ironic” is that it is “educated” women who are too self-obsessed or have “special needs” who are driving this, in the belief  that they are “victims” or superior beings being “held down” by men—or at least those are messages we are continually being bombarded with by the media. 

But what does it really say about gender relations? That contrary to popular myth, they are really more self-interested than “caring” about others, even their own children, often used by vindictive women as weapons against their fathers in divorce cases? That they feel they have  responsibility when it comes to compromise or even giving any credence to their partner’s take on the state of a relationship, refusing to take any responsibility for their own behavior, or feel that only their “needs” matter?  This may in reality describe gender relations, but the refusal to recognize it indicates the power of gender myths. Or is it just a lot of hot hair and sob-sister bovine scatology, because deep inside they know  just how dependent they are on males for the maintenance of the comforts of civilization they take for granted? One “educated” female once told me that men are only good for “killing bugs and fixing cars.” At least she admitted in a backhanded way that males were “needed” for something.

Why would Chinese women be any different? Some may say to themselves “I am going to pick the ‘perfect’ man for me.” But what is the “perfect” male for such self-interested women? Does such a person even exist? And why would a man want a woman who requires him to kowtow to her every “need”—which often she cannot even articulate—or illogical whim.  Of course, Newsweek may be “inventing” a story, basing its conclusion on the commentary of an isolated cadre of “career” women, and not the opinion of the general population. But it doesn’t matter, since the propaganda takes no matter of true it is in the generality or not.


Attitudes about relationship go both ways, gender politics aside. CNN recently reported on the growing apathy of some Japanese men in regard to women. “A government survey released this week suggested that nearly 40 percent of Japanese in their twenties and thirties are not in a relationship don't think they need a romantic partner, with many calling relationships ‘bothersome.’ Another survey from 2010 found that one in four Japanese men in their thirties who've never been married are virgins. The figures were only slightly less for women.” One of these men said "When you see a woman and find her attractive, you might ask her out, hold her hand, kiss and that's how it goes. But in my case, it did not happen for me. I thought it might happen naturally, but it never did."

For men confronted with the abuses of women whose “needs” can never be met or satisfied, Bob Dylan’s “It Ain’t Me Babe” has the right message:

You say you're looking for someone
Who promises never to part
Someone to close his eyes to you
Someone to close his heart
Someone who will die for you and more
But it ain't me babe
No, no, no it ain't me babe
It ain't me you're looking for