"What's Up": A really bad song retrospective

I don’t know why, but sometimes I just run out of energy or inspiration to post anything. Sometimes when I feel that I have to, I cruise the Internet to find something vaguely interesting, at least to me if to no one else. I came across a story concerning Sara Gilbert, who a few people might remember from the television sitcom Roseanne, in which she played a child character who was only just less annoying than Roseanne herself. It seems that that she was recently engaged to someone named Linda Perry. Alright, no need for snickering here; societal mores are changing, and you need to learn to roll with it.

But I’m not really interested in Gilbert, since she is still annoying. Perry, on the other hand, received some slight “notoriety” in 2011 when she accused the music of another Perry—Katy—to be lacking in “substance.” Well, that goes without saying, but on the other hand, there is a difference between “insubstantial” music that receives frequent airplay on oldies radio stations, and “substantial” music that never gets any airplay. Linda Perry (the “Perry” I will be referring to from here), is proof that the gay and lesbian community has significant “pull” in the artistic and entertainment community, so much so that “artists” with questionable talent can find an excessively sympathetic audience.

Perry is generally regarded as “overrated” by many who are not fans of hers, her reputation based mainly on her work with Pink and Christine Aguilera. She has written a “lot” of hits, although only three of her songs made the Top Ten. Perry’s lyrical concerns are on the self-absorbed side; from the Aguilera single “Beautiful,” we hear the following:

I am beautiful no matter what they say

Words can’t bring me down

I am beautiful in every single way

Yes words can’t bring me down

So don’t you bring me down today

Perry might be referring to the reaction to a certain other song of hers that is frequently placed in the top-twenty all-time worst songs ever lists, but I’ll get to that later. Perry obviously feels she is superior to you and I, if the following from “Get the Party Started”—a hit for Pink—means anything:

Making my connection as I enter the room

Everybody's chilling as I set up the groove

Pumpin' up the volume with this brand new beat

Everybody's dancing and they're dancing for me

I'm your operator, you can call anytime

I'll be your connection to the party line

Inspirational lyric: Boulevard is freakin' as I'm comin' up fast - I'll be burnin' rubber, you'll be kissin' my ass

That’s the kind of “sentiment” you can expect from someone with a chip on their shoulder, or an ax to grind. You wonder why when life has actually been quite kind to her. After all, Perry did survive that aforementioned “artistic” humiliation, thanks to her many friends and sympathizers in the business. Perry has attempted to distance herself from responsibility for “What’s Up,” which somewhat incomprehensibly became a “monster” hit (or so claims Rolling Stone) in 1993, peaking at #13 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. This song was culled from the debut—and only—album from a group called 4 Non Blondes. This was originally intended to be an all-female band (none of whom had blonde hair—get it?), but during the recording of the album Bigger, Better, Faster, More!—talk about self-aggrandizement—producer David Tickle (best known for his work with Prince) apparently decided the group’s lead guitarist wasn’t up to the job, so she was replaced by a male guitarist who at least could pass for female if you didn’t look real close.

Perry told Rolling Stone that "I wasn't really a big fan of my band. I didn't like the record at all. 'Drifting' was the only song I loved. I did love 'What's Up?' but I hated the production. When I heard our record for the first time I cried. It didn't sound like me. It made me belligerent and a real asshole. I wanted to say, 'We're a fucking, bad-ass cool band. We're not that fluffy polished bullshit that you're listening to.' It was really difficult." Perry doth protest too much—as well as being disingenuous. Tickle’s production is what made the song commercially viable; it was Perry’s “singing” on that song and on the rest of the album that was the monstrosity. A straightforward reading of the lyrics to “What’s Up” reveals a song that isn’t particularly offensive or horrible; I can’t figure out what it is about, but then again a lot pop songs are incomprehensible fluff. Nor is the musical backing track incompetently performed; it may beat its principle “hook” half to death, but it is still “catchy.” 

The problem—for those who cringe at it like an embarrassing memory they hope no one else remembers—is that god awful singing. Perry’s lead vocal has got to be the worst ever set to cylinder, vinyl, CD or mp3—and I’m even including a Spike Jones record, which was actually meant to be bad. There is no doubt that Perry was overly self-impressed by her own chops (she does have a huge mouth), but that oddball mix of wailing, screeching and forced histrionics was the stuff of parody. The only explanation for the song becoming a “hit” was because of its curiosity value; it did catch your attention. But it didn’t take long to get past the initial fascination to realize that the song made absolutely no sense. While on paper the lyrics seemed straightforward, Perry’s reading chopped-up the lines into incomprehensible fragments, and her delivery only made the proceedings even more laughable. 

And yet Perry survived this, thanks to her friends and supporters in the business. Not that she has done anything since that people remember half as much.