The other day, there appeared a
story about actress Hilary Duff posting on her Instagram account something
about a “creepy” guy who was taking pictures of the kids playing football at a
park. Along with a phone video grab of the “creep” was her estimation of the
situation:" “Paparazzi
shooting KIDS. Go 'practice' your photography on ADULTS! Creep! Laws need to
change! This is stalking minors! Disgusting!" In the video, Duff is heard
asking the man "Who are you here with? Do you know any people on the team?
Can you stop taking pictures of the kids please?" The man tells her it is “legal”
for him to take pictures, but she insists it makes her “uncomfortable.” He
tells her she shouldn’t feel uncomfortable, and offers to show his ID. Duff
says “I'm not asking for your ID. I'm asking you to stop taking pictures of our
7-year-old children if you don't know anyone that's here.” She goes on "I'm
asking you human to human, as a mother, if you don't know anyone here, can you
please stop taking pictures of our children playing football this
morning." The man tells her he is “practicing photography” and she shouldn’t
feel “uncomfortable.” Duff reiterates her desire to “protect” the children, and
says she will post the video for 15 million people to see what a “creep” looks
like.
Why would Duff have assumed that
the man didn’t know anyone there? Maybe because he is black and everyone else
is white? The man is wearing glasses and appears to be around 60. He doesn’t
look like a “creep,” just a regular person with an expensive-looking camera.
Now, I don’t know why he would choose to take pictures of white kids when he
should know that there might be paranoid white women about, although that Duff
seems to be the only one present to respond to him in that manner. There was a
link to her Instagram account; I expected to see a few people questioning her
paranoia, but those immediately responding seemed to share her view of the
situation. I did not. I decided to throw in my immediate response: “Racist.” I
figured an explanatory response was necessary, so I added the observation that
the man didn’t look “perverted” to me, and it seemed to me that it was “perverted”
minds that were informing this episode. I didn’t hang around waiting for the
legion of apologists to rain down on me; my point was made. A check on the Internet a day after seems to suggest that other people are questioning Duff's mindset as well.
You would think that Duff would
have learned a lesson when she was accused of racial insensitivity wearing a
Native American outfit on a Halloween outing with her partner wearing a “Pilgrim”
outfit. If
this black man was taking pictures of black children playing football, I
suspect the parents of the kids would have not taken him for a "creep" or a “pervert.” Duff’s
knee-jerk reactions seems racist, no matter how she tries to justify it with
what Trump pardonee Dinesh D’Souza called “rational discrimination.” If the man
was Hispanic, she probably would have made the same accusation; but if he was
Asian, she probably would have thought that was just what they do. She can call
the man what she wants to; other people can call her what they want to, too.
The problem is that we have seen
the racism behind such incidents so many times before. I recall an incident in
2004, when a black man, Ian Spiers, was
taking photographs for a photography course at the Ballard Locks in Seattle.
Yeah, that “progressive” Seattle. Apparently a white female thought it was “suspicious”
and called the police; a half-dozen black-clad officers arrived, one of them
who identified himself as “DHS.” After some “discussion,” Spier was allowed to
leave; it was observed that there were many tourists who were there taking
photographs. The “problem,” it seemed, was that they were white and Asian;
Spier was the only black person taking photographs, which of course was “suspicious.”
There have been more recent cases, involving white women and “suspicious” black
folk, like the Mississippi woman who threatened a black couple with a gun
because they wanted to have a picnic in a campground, and the Arkansas woman who
held four black teenagers at gunpoint after they knocked on her door while out for
an annual fundraising drive for the school athletic department.
Duff isn’t the only woman who
thinks she can make sordid accusations without being annoyed by resistance. The
UK’s Daily Mail somehow got a hold of
audio from a "therapy" session between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Now we
remember that Heard had written an op-ed that was printed in the Washington Post about being a domestic
violence “survivor.” I don’t know if the paper now “regrets” its publication
any more than TIME regrets putting California
Assemblywoman Christina Garcia on it “silence breakers” cover after she was
accused of sexual harassment and “groping” behavior by four men, but it should
be a hit on its credibility and on any media that thinks that everyone who posts
an accusation in the “MeToo” pages is actually telling the truth—or at least
the “whole” truth. There is usually two sides to every story, even if only one
is allowed to be heard. Those who heard the “other side” loud and clear on
those tapes are now calling for the cosmetics company L'Oréal to dump Heard in
her lucrative role as a spokesperson. In one of two such online campaigns, it
is stated that "Amber Heard for years now has been claiming to be the
victim of abuse from her husband Johnny Depp. In light of recently leaked
recorded sessions between Ms. Heard and Mr. Depp, it has come to the attention
of many that it was in fact the other way around."
Although both Depp and Heard are
for the most part speaking in “reasonable” tones, it is clear that he is
frustrated by her inability to take responsibility for her own abusive behavior,
particularly since it is implied that she is the principle instigator, while
she admonishes him for acting like a “baby” for wanting to just walk out when
one of their rows occur. She insists that her hitting him or throwing objects
at him has no “equivalency” in him knocking on her door, something she
repeatedly accuses him of doing (do they sleep in separate bedrooms?).
For example, Depp says “I left
last night. Honestly, I swear to you because I just couldn't take the idea of
more physicality, more physical abuse on each other. Because had we continued
it, it would have gotten f**king bad. And baby, I told you this once. I'm
scared to death we are a f**king crime scene right now.” How does Heard
respond? “I can't promise you I won't get physical again. God I f**king sometimes
get so mad I lose it.” In his $50 million lawsuit for defamation of character
following her Post op-ed, Depp claims
that he is the victim and Heard is the perpetrator; it seems that here she is
admitting as much. In his lawsuit, he claims that “She hit, punched and kicked
me. She also repeatedly and frequently threw objects into my body and head,
including heavy bottles, soda cans, burning candles, television remote controls
and paint thinner cans, which severely injured me.” Heard claims that she was
the abused party, although Depp claims that her selfies indicating bruising
were “painted on.”
We can all be cynical about a man
claiming domestic violence against him, but what can it be like living with a
person like Heard who sees nothing wrong with inflicting abuse? The illogic of
a female domestic abuser is evident in the following from the Daily Mail transcript:
Depp complains he's forced to leave when she becomes 'manic and angry',
telling Heard: 'I'm not going be in a physical f**king altercation with you...
you f**king hit me last night.' He goes on to add: 'I'm not the one who throws pots and whatever the
f**k else at me.'
Heard responds: 'That's different. That's different. One does not
negate the other. That's irrelevant, that's a complete non sequitur. Just because I've thrown pots and pans does not mean you cannot come
and knock on my door.' When Depp cuts in to suggest he's also had vases hurled at him, she
replies: 'Just because there are vases does not mean that you come and knock on
the door.'
'Really, I should just let you throw?' Depp replies, tailing off as
they carry on sniping.'The only time I ever threw anything at you was when you f**king threw
the cans at me in Australia,' he admits.
Heard asks: 'Why are you trying to justify who throws things based on
whether or not you come knocking on the door? I don't get why one informs the
other.'
Depp says, raising his voice: 'Because that is a f**king irrational and
violent f**king maneuver. So a man would want to get out of that area so that
he doesn't get so f**king angry that he actually does pop the f**king wife.'
Throughout, Heard appears to
believe that engaging in physical violence is “normal” for her, and should not
be taken at all “seriously.” For example, Depp mentions a previous incident
where he contacted the building manager to “intervene” before their fight “escalated”:
'I said to you, ''hey tell Travis what just happened'... And that you
that you punched me in the f**king thing... In the face''. And you said, ''no I
f**king didn't. What the f**k are you talking about?''' And I watched you lie,'
he says.
Heard replies: 'I didn't punch you. I didn't punch you, by the way. . .
I'm sorry that I didn't, uh, uh, hit you across the face in a proper slap, but
I was hitting you, it was not punching you. Babe, you're not punched. '
Depp cuts in to protest: 'Don't tell me what it feels like to be
punched.'
Heard sarcastically replies: 'I know, you've been in a lot of fights,
been around a long time. I know, I know. Yeah.'
Getting audibly upset, Depp fires back: 'No! When you have a f**king
closed fist.'
Heard responds: 'You didn't get punched. You got hit. I'm sorry I hit
you like this. But I did not punch you. I did not f**king deck you. I f**king
was hitting you... I don't know what the motion of my actual hand was, but
you're fine, I did not hurt you, I did not punch you, I was hitting you.'
At another point, Heard tries to
justify her violence even when Depp tries to leave the area: “I'm
not going to get into the details of that fight. You and I both know that you
split when there is no physical violence involved and that you do it... like at
the very beginning of fights these days. And if you split and you go into a
different room and you don't actually leave that house, it does nothing but
perpetuate the fight and you don't actually do it respectfully.”
At another point, Depp tells her:
“If the fight escalates to the point of where it's just insulting for both of
us, uh, or if it gets to that physical f**king s**t, the violence, that's when
we just said, look, let's go to our corners, man, you hang wherever you want,
baby. I'm going in the office and I'm just gonna f**king sit there and try and
de-jellify my f**king brain,” to which Heard replies unhelpfully “I can't promise
that it will all be perfect. I can't promise you I won't get physical again.
God I f**king sometimes I get so mad I lose it.”
Here we are. This is very likely
a typical scenario of a dysfunctional relationship where there are two sides to
the story, where the female is as much or more guilty in the perpetration of
domestic violence. Yet the media, domestic violence promoters and the MeToo
movement would have us believe that this either does not occur, or doesn’t
matter. Just ask Amber Heard—she seems to know that the score is in her favor.