For some reason, while I was listening to Brock and Salk salivating over the possibility (however remote) of persuading his Royal Highness Peyton Manning to grant his pity upon the desperate souls of Seattle, I was reminded of the scene in “Zoolander” where Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson were trying to figure out how to extract secret information from an iMac. No one really knows what Manning is going to reemerge, but Brock and Salk continue to flail about the Idea without actually considering how it is all going to work out in reality. In a conversation with The Professor, Salk seemed particularly frustrated that his latest anyone-but-Matt-Flynn whimsy was receiving little support from outside his sound booth. Perhaps it is not surprising, then, that an ad hoc survey conducted by Bob and Groz revealed that Flynn was out-polling Manning by a 62-38 margin. Perhaps some voters were given pause by Mike Lombardi’s assessment of Manning’s progress:
“He can’t throw the ball. I’ve talked to people who’ve caught the ball for him. He can’t throw the ball to his left. He can’t throw the ball across his body, because he doesn’t feel it. People that catch the ball for him say he doesn’t really have velocity on the ball yet.”
Manning’s fitness will likely improve over time, although whether it will be sufficient to play at typical game speed by opening day is a legitimate question. There has been suggestions that it doesn’t matter if Manning isn’t ready to play at the time he is released by the Colts; he will just be that more of a “bargain.” But it still would carry significant risk, since it means that the team defaulted out of the Flynn sweepstakes, and if Manning physically falters—as very well may be the case—and Flynn blossoms with another team, it will just be another example of how snake-bit this town is (like drafting Dan McGuire over Brett Favre).
Manning’s ultimate “cost” might end up much higher for other reasons. Being an immobile quarterback and a still young offensive line, it wouldn’t surprise that Manning suffers repeated blows to his head and neck, causing re-injury that persuades him to retire after a year. Knowing Manning’s habit of being mum about injuries, he might tough it out for an entire season, playing well enough to lead the team to 10 wins and a playoff berth. If Manning decides he can’t risk further injury and retires, what did the Seahawks gain? One season of national notoriety. What did they lose? Not just Flynn, but any hope that they will be able to draft a top quarterback, and further seasons of disappointment.
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Forbes Magazine just came out with its Top Ten most hated athletes of 2011:
1. Michael Vick
2. Tiger Woods
3. Plaxico Burress
4. Ndamukong Suh
5. Kris Humphries
6. LeBron James
7. Kobe Bryant
8. Terrell Owens
9. Alex Rodriguez
10. Kurt Busch
After noting that two of these characters were actually judged guilty of a crime and served time, this list actually tells us more about the people who voted in this poll than the athletes on the list. First off, Forbes readers are more likely to be upscale, well-off white people who don’t like to pay taxes, have minimal contact with minority types and are offended if these overpaid gladiators act too “uppity” for their station. Further, some of them apparently identify with pampered, emotionally immature dim-bulbs like Kim Kardashian, who would probably be making a living around a stripper pole if her father didn’t have lots and lots of money for she and sisters to make a “living” being utterly useless. It is useful to note that two white athletes who were recently involved in high-profile inappropriate behavior of sexual natures have been already forgiven (or forgotten): Ben Roethlisberger and Brett Favre. This is easily explained on a societal level: Forbes’ white clientele is much more willing to give their own “kind” the benefit of the doubt than they are toward minorities and their “strange” ways. All they know about the top nine athletes on this list is what the media and the covers of supermarket tabloids have told them; they can’t identify with them as human beings like themselves.
Kurt Busch is the only Caucasian on the list, probably because the compilers of this list fudged the numbers so that an accusation of racism on the part of Forbes clientele could be “plausibly” denied. But Busch’s inclusion is itself an indictment—the only people who know or care about Busch and his antics would be redneck NASCAR fans, like the ones who were so unchivalrous as to jeer Michelle Obama before a race late last year.
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